Finally...Amazon!!

I've talked about being self-published and the reasons behind it...I've also chatted about how there are ups and downs with this process I've ventured on...but today made all of that worth it.  This morning I did my usual rounds and checked Amazon to see if by any chance, with just one click was there...every day for the last nine weeks, the same thing would happen...nothing.  BUT today was different...I knew when I saw the number of books in the literature & fiction section under the title...there were two additions(yes, I made a mental note of how many books were in that category...hate to admit it, but it's true!) And yes, low and behold, in front of my eyes, the title, with just one click, stared back at me...I was finally out in the "public" for everyone to see. I immediately checked Barnes and Noble...and was happy to see, this wasn't a fluke.

My feelings were all over the place...excited, nervous, and even a little overwhelmed...this day is a BIG deal for me.  Starting a year and a half ago, I placed a pen in my hand and began my journey...and I've never looked back.  Today represents a start of the next leg of my journey as a new author. Most people don't know who I am or that the book is available yet...BUT this day is so much more than that.  This day represents one part of a puzzle piece that was missing in my life...the sense of my own accomplishment...the feeling that I did this...I put faith in me and my work and didn't allow myself to sabotage or get in my own way.

I'm sure everyone has done this before...you start second guessing yourself, doubt creeps into your head, and you begin to sidestep, ultimately bowing out of something. I know I've done that myself and the only thing that brings is disappointment and more excuses.  Today, I stand on my own two feet knowing that taking a chance on yourself is the ultimate gift. Of course, there could be failures and disappointments ahead, but without those, a person can't grow and learn from their mistakes.  Will I make a mistakes...probably? Will I succeed...maybe? That's the beauty of today... if I didn't take that leap of faith and go forward with this novel, no one would ever know about it.  If I decided to allow the negative thoughts to cloud my judgement, with just one click might've been trapped in my computer as a Word document for MY EYES ONLY forever!

Funny, I was watching The Biggest Loser tonight(I warned you already about my habits on watching reality shows) and one of the contestants had this epiphany about being able to stand on her own and accepting accountability for her own actions.

Today, I stand owning every decision I've made up until this point.  Do I feel the weight and pressure on my shoulders? Of course...but that isn't going to stop me from moving ahead to my ultimate goal...being recognized as a respectable author in contemporary fiction.